Thursday, January 21, 2010

the crazy.

i don't mind being crazy. i used to mind...but i've finally gotten to a place, if only for a moment, where i don't mind. i am a silly, up-and-down, beautiful girl. Even on days that drain my entire being for no other reason than the clouds are dimmer than they should be, or i didn't smile as brightly as i could have to the stranger who looked sad, or my jeans are tighter than i remember them being...i like me. There's alot more to love than the seemingly unstable girl who exists on those days. But that girl is a part of the sweet ball of sunshine who dances around on the other days. The days she takes the most pride in. The sincerity of the sweet ball of sunshine comes from experiencing the full gamut of gray days. i want to be the kind of person who sees the beauty in the mud. Even when it hurts, i can be thankful that i am capable of intense emotion. When the frustrations of life are suffocating, i can be thankful that i know what it is to breathe. My life, in full color, is stunning. My God gave me a gift...a gift i so easily curse. i get to experience life in its entirety. And when i'm a hundred years old, i will have lived. With all the laughing and crying and loving and breaking and experiencing it comes with.

Thank You, Jesus, for the crazy.

Saturday, January 16, 2010


"Stuck between if and when...You pray and tried, but still no end. God’s purpose soon you’ll understand-It won’t hurt you after a won’t hurt you after a while"
-Afterwhile, Yolanda Adams

i'm really intrigued to see what these next few years hold for me. the current challenge is to take it as it comes. any ideas?